Today’s Group Discussion

Please read through the lyrics of the song titled “Family” by Dolly Parton and help contribute sincerely and as practicable as possible to the discourse bellow:

*What’s depth, the height, the breadth of love for the family or simply put, how deep or how far can one go and one can say I have loved enough, I have tolerated enough, I have done my best or I have gone too far when it come to loving ones family (your children and your spouse in particular)?*

*At what point can one stop loving an erring spouse or a wayward child or a particular unappreciative and unrepentant family member?*

– Group Admin, 3pG

Family

By Dolly Parton

When it’s family, you forgive them
For they know not what they do
When it’s family, you accept them
‘Cause you have no choice but to
When it’s family, they’re a mirror
Of the worst and best in you
And they always put you to the test
And you always try to do your best
And just pray for God to do the rest
When it’s family

Some are preachers, some are gay
Some are addicts, drunks and strays
But not a one is turned away
When it’s family
Some are lucky, others ain’t
Some are fighters, others faint
Winners, losers, sinners, saints
It’s all family

And when it’s family, you trust them
And your heart’s an open door
When it’s family, you tolerate
What you’d kill others for
When it’s family, you love and hate
And take then give some more
Somehow you justify mistakes
Try to find some better way
To solve the problems day to day
In the family

You take the trouble as it comes
And love ’em more than anyone
Good or bad or indifferent
It’s still family
You choose your lovers 
You pick your friends
Not the family that you’re in
They’ll be with you ’til the end
‘Cause it’s family

When it’s family, you forgive them
For they know not what they do
When it’s family, they’re a mirror
Of the worst and best in you
When it’s family, when it’s family
Let me be all that I should be
To the family

Songwriters: Dolly Parton / Carl Perkins

Admin Response:

It is very true some people are very difficult to love, the more you do your best the more they frustrate you, but when it come to family, we must love all the same. We have no other choice than to love.

You may not know that inability to forgive and bitterness is a problem until your family become the yardstick with which you measure the limits of your tolerance. Your family mirror the worst and the best in you.

I have had to counsel people with domestic challenges, separation and those tending toward divorce and I’m always of the opinion that broken bridges are still amendable and that in family matter, it doesn’t matter who’s right or wrong but it does matter who’s ready to repair the broken ends.

A call, a text on a birthday, a good wish in form of a text sent to the other person at the other end at the beginning of the week or on the first day of a new month or some special day on the calendar might be all you need to revive a dying love. A good wish in form of a call or a text or a gift on a birthday may be the spark that can set fire of romance burning again.

Yes, he/she may not return the text or the call or return your good wishes at first but through ceaseless efforts your family may be restored earlier than you envisaged but in almost all cases, the common response is “if I send a text, or be the first to make a call or send an occasional gift, apart from the possibility of not having a good response from him/her, it is like bringing myself too low, I can’t be the one begging. He/she was the wrong party that ought to beg me”. And in many cases, it all end there. I have found out, men/women find it easier mending fences with an illegitimate lover than making half the effort for a legitimate mate.

When it is family, it doesn’t matter who bridge the gap, what you won’t do for others, where you will never bend the kneel, when it come to family, love makes you do it because the success of your family is the mirror of your true success and the mirror of the peace in your heart.

You will never know how much patience you have, how humble you are until you pass the test of your family. You may tongue speak like angel, gifted in spiritual gifts like Stephen, and you may have seen or be privy to spiritual mysteries like Paul of Tarsus, yet if you fail the test of patience, humility and love from your own family, you are nothing.

When it come to family, there is no ends you can’t reach, no limit your love can’t outrun, no depth you can’t go and no height too great to leap. We often get frustrated because we don’t add joy to love. We love and expect so much in return and when expectations are defeated, we cry fouls. We don’t love family because of what we expect them to do for us, we love family because family is all we truly have.

Many of those things we got offended at, whatever it is the children or their father or their mom might have done, as deeply hurting they may be to you, they are acts of ignorance, for they know not what they do. You will never know how pride full your heart is, how stubborn and unforgiving you have degenerated until faced with the possibility of forgiving an unrepentant spouse or an incorrigible son/daughter.

Your love is never measure by your fine preachings and commitments in church or in the neighborhood, your love is best known by how much you are able to take or how far you can tolerate your spouse excesses and or how ready you are to bridge a widening gap between you and any family member, even when you are sure you are the innocent party in a fight that’s tearing your home apart.

When it is family there is no offence that cannot be forgiven even if the offending party refuse to ask for it. When it is family, there is always something better than your best you are yet to explore. There is always something you haven’t tried, something that can bridge the gap of separation, love will make you pocket your pride and prayerfully explore new ways of making up with your lost love. When all is done family is all you’ve gotten. When it is family no sacrifice is too much. When it is family love has no limit.

*Olumofin Kehinde Benjamin writes for Praying Parents Prayer Group Christian Ministry (3pG).*