THE WISE WOMAN AND HER ROLE IN HOME BUILDING.

TEXT: A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands. Proverbs 14:1 NLT

A house is built by wisdom and becomes strong through good sense. Proverbs 24:3 NLT

From the text, we can deduce that a wise woman builds her home, so a wise woman is expected to build her home, it is her job (role).

Therefore who is a wise woman?

WHO IS A WISE WOMAN?
Matthew 7:24 – She is a woman that hears the word of Christ (God) and puts them to practice, she fears the Lord and seek to please Him at all times (Proverbs 9:10)
Proverbs 13:20 – She keeps company with wise people, that is her friends are wise (as defined above). The saying goes show me your friends and I will tell you who you are.

Proverbs 15:2 – Her mouth spews out knowledge because she seeks after knowledge.

Proverbs 10:14, 18:15, 17:27 – She is careful with words

Proverbs 19:20 – She listens to advice and accept instructions.

Also from the text the Bible calls a wise woman a builder and the online definition of a builder is a person who constructs something by putting parts or materials together OR a person or thing that creates or develop a particular thing. Synonyms include; creator, designer, planner, maker etc.

I love the second definition; creator, maker strikes a cord, it makes women co creator with God, God gave women ability to MAKE , CREATE OR BUILD destinies. Otherwise the woman also has the power to MAR, my prayer is that none of us shall be guilty of marring destinies by our ignorance or negligence in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

As women we are called to be builders, makers, shapers, designers of destinies. We have great powers and God is counting on us to continue His work of creation in the lives He has surrounded us with. WE ARE POWERFUL, YET MANY OF US DON’T KNOW WHAT WE CARRY.

You are called to build your husband, children and every other person that God has brought around you, some as house helps, wards, students, pupils etc. Destinies have been BEQUEATHED into our hands, leaders of tomorrow are in our homes – God’s generals, Presidents, Business moguls etc are all under our care. How are we building them? Are we MAKING them or MARRING them?
The question is personal but a must answer one, how are you treating those precious gifts around you?

Have you taken note in the Bible, precisely in the books of Kings and Chronicles that when Kings are mentioned their mothers name are mentioned as well because the mothers play very vital roles in the lives of these kings, or how do you explain a very terrible king having a righteous son or a God fearing King having a tyrant as a successor (SOMEBODY WAS MAKING A DIFFERENCE EITHER POSITIVELY OR NEGATIVELY ).

Mothers (women) play a great role in the life of their children /husbands. Women (mothers) are KING MAKERS OR DEMON MAKERS as the case may be. WHAT MOTHER (WOMAN) ARE YOU?
In Proverbs 31 – which is synonymous to the virtuous woman (whose attributes are listed from verse 10 to 31), there we find a warning in verse 3 – which reads “give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings”- a foolish woman can mislead or even destroy kings if she is given opportunity.

From our earlier definition, a builder builds by putting parts or materials together. Every woman as a potential builder is endowed with materials for building a home, it is the wisdom in which she uses (puts the materials together) that determines a good home.
No woman is deficient, every one of us is given more than enough materials (grace) for the building, I have enough, you have enough.
According to the grace of God which is given unto me, as a wise masterbuilder, I have laid the foundation, and another buildeth thereon. But let every man take heed how he buildeth thereupon. For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ. Now if any man build upon this foundation gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, stubble;
1 Corinthians 3:10 – 12 KJV
It is how we make use of the material at our disposal appropriately, that makes us wise or not.

First thing a builder does is that he /she knows what he/she wants to achieve that is what kind (make) of building he/she wants to construct – a bungalow, duplex, semidetached etc
The ground to build on is also considered but we believers have a sure foundation which is Christ Jesus, and I believe everyone of us as Christians have a sure relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ – who is the readymade foundation.
In knowing your building, do you have a prior knowledge of what building (destiny) your husband and children will be? Do you have an understanding of the destiny God has bequeathed into your hands? Like Jochebed (Moses mother), the Bible said of her in HEBREWS 11:23: that she saw that her son was a proper child (not an ordinary child), she hid him and was ready to risk her life for the boy.

Sarah, the mother of faith, kept following Abraham, who followed God, not knowing where they were going because she knew the God Abraham served that “FAITHFUL IS HE WHO HAS PROMISED”. Before I said “I DO” to my husband, I had a clear understanding of what God wants for my husband. How many of us as women have such understanding and we want to build, what do we want to build? As a home builder you need such understanding to build well, if you lack it ask God, He is generous, He will tell you.
If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
James 1:5 KJV
The role of a wise woman in home building:
The word home refers to the family and family is our husband, children and all others that God kept in our care.
How can we build them?
Earlier we mentioned that we need to know what God intended them to be. Like your children, the success of your husband is your responsibility and lies very much in your hands.

It is your duty as wife and mother to pray for your family (husband and children) to align their lives to the will of God (that you have already discovered). There are many forces, both physical and spiritual that don’t want your family to fulfill the plan of God for their lives, the onus therefore lies on you as the mother (to your husband who is your first child and your children) to prayer cover for them, so they don’t fail; make wrong choices, mix with wrong people etc.
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Ephesians 6:12 KJV

This verse tells us what we are against. What we are contending with over our family so we need not go to sleep.
It is also our duty to nurture our family:
Nurturing involves feeding them appropriately, physically and spiritually and ensuring that our family is receiving the right nutrients and getting it from the right source. Physical food for the husband can be further divided to mean the one through the mouth and the one through the groin, though both are very important, I will like to lay a little emphasis on the latter because it has scattered or even destroyed many homes and often times it has been neglected because of over spirituality and good enough it has a lot to do with fulfilling destiny and even one making heaven. Many great men and women of God have gotten their hands burnt because it was neglected. I pray we will not be guilty of this in Jesus name, amen.
The full soul loatheth an honeycomb; But to the hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet. Proverbs 27:7 KJV

Women to build your home, I beg of you to satisfy your husband’s sex needs, it saves him from all the wolves (strange women) outside, sex eases a lot of tension and makes him think right, it makes the home happy and happy home breeds good children. And once that aspect is taken care of, other aspects of nurturing becomes easy. A man that’s sexually satisfied can easily be entreated.
Train up a child in the way he should go: And when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6 KJV

Still on Nurturing, the Bible say train them in the way they should go, give them godly upbringing, let them know their identity in Christ; many children are confuse, they don’t know their left from their right. Let your children know from an early age that they are Christians and that means they are different, there are things that are expected of them and things that are forbidden even if others are doing it example their dressing styles, hairdo etc.
Teach them to be respectful, not to use foul language, to show empathy, not to have entitlement mentality that means sometimes they get “no” as an answer when they request for things. Teach them courtesy, teach them to use the five (5) magic words – PLEASE, SORRY, EXCUSE ME, THANK YOU AND PARDON ME.
Also make out time for your family, no matter how busy you are; listen to them, show that you care and enjoy their company. Ask about their day and also let them give their opinions on things. No matter how difficult or annoying they may be, make them feel they are the best thing that ever happened to you, make them your best friends. (Note: family means husband and children)
Be their best adviser, don’t throw their shortcomings and mistakes at them at every given opportunity (so they don’t hide things from you). You should be their first cheerleader, encouraging them to greatness. Your husband especially don’t remind him of his past errors that you claim you have forgiven, show that you trust him and you believe in him.
And finally be a good example of believer, don’t teach or enforce what you don’t practice, children imitate and husbands are won over by godly attitudes.
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 1 Peter 3:1 KJV

Be like Apostle Paul

Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ. 1 Corinthians 11:1 KJV
For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him. Genesis 18:19 KJV

This the testimony of God concerning Abraham’s family, including Sarah, who is a wise woman. Through wisdom she was able to build a lasting legacy that we and our families are still reaping from, choose to be a wise woman today in whom God can boast of like the family of Sarah.
May God bless us all in Jesus Christ mighty, amen.

In summary:
Discover God’s purpose for your family
Pray for your family
Nurture your family
Listen and create time for your family
Be the adviser and guide of your family
Be a good mentor to your family.

This lecture was originally delivered on the HOME DEFENDER WhatsApp page on the 29th May 2022 by Ayoola-Olumofin Comfort.