STEPS TOWARD A BEAUTIFUL MARRIAGE (Part 3)

Discourse Question 2:

Give examples of what you have seen in marriages around you that you wouldn’t want to be as a husband or as a wife in your own marriage?

Aside those already mentioned in previous posts, some major examples of marriages you sure won’t like is:

1. Marriages where couples don’t pray together.

2. Marriages where children are never had fun filled Bible study time together with mommy and daddy in attendance (many of us never had one single Bible reading time with our both parents in attendance. Sure, you don’t want to keep that up in your own family, but those who have parents who studied with them, I say you are blessed, your type is rare).

3. Home that are always in conflicts and perennial fights with themselves, as man and wife. Start praying and planning on how you will make sure conflicts and fighting are not your family trademark. Those inflicted with that trademark don’t like it but they can’t help it either because they lack foresights.

3. Nobody wants a loveless, zero romantic unhappy marriage where Jesus has no place. If Jesus is in it, love will be in it.

4. etc

If I am you, will you marry me?

Just as a coin is ordinary metal unless it has two sides, so is our focus here. We are here to help you BE THE PERFECT MATCH, the right person, the will of God suitable for that child of God from another mother, your future spouse.

If you are opportune to know your potential spouse, his/her behavior and manner of life, and you discover it’s exactly like yours, will you still marry the person?

If your spouse is living exactly the way you live, will you consider him/her a good and suitable spouse you can be proud of? If everyone behave like you, will there be joy, peace and happiness in homes?

For sure, you want someone who will accept you just as you are, someone who will understand you, tolerate you and forgive you whenever you are wrong but are you willing to be that same tolerable, understanding and forgiving partner as well?

Ruth and Orpah, were married from Moab and afterwards a once peaceful and intact family was pull apart, all the men died within 10years. Hmm…if it were today, people will call them names (like women with left legs, bad legs – their presence brought misfortune to a once peaceful family) and worse still they gave no children to the two men in 10 years!! I believe that should have been the experience of the two sisters from Moab too. They must have been misjudged.

Despite this, Ruth was so loving, forgiving, full of understanding, she tolerated her mother-in-law and followed her, took care of despite her own incriminating words “I went out full but came back empty, God must have been punishing me possibly for marrying my sons to strangers” (Ruth 1: 20-21 rephrased).

Those who won’t treat others as they would want to be treated can never be good partners in marriage.

How readily do you conclude on issues and arrive at a decision without looking at the facts. You heard of a woman who has lost two husbands under similar unfortunate situations years apart and you quickly concluded she must have been a witch. How readily we judge people and blame them for their misfortune without considering the facts.

Young men and women have this “impossible” idea all will always go well in marriage, that “my spouse will always be the perfect picture I always dream of but as for me I’m the human part of my spouse and I should be accepted just as I am” and when that failed, conflicts and disharmony set in. Young adults should get to know this, successful Christian marriage do well on understanding, tolerance and forgiveness on both sides. Put this in your mind.

If you want others to accept you as you are, be ready to do the same when you start seeing the imperfect side of your spouse. What do you see in marriage? In marriage you will discover that as beautiful as that woman is, she too can snore in her sleep, she can be so easily tiring some times, she may not know how to make good food, she might not be as clean as she look outside etc., what will you do, you tolerate in love and help her through her weaknesses. Oh! She may not cooperate! If she was meant for you and God is in it, she will.

As handsome as he look, soon you may discover few days after marriage, he fart a lot, snore like he-goat, he’s as dirty as he look smart in Jeans, he eats a lot, and can sleep for hours etc. In other words, marriage will show you that handsome men have weaknesses too that you will have to tolerate and help him to work at in the spirit of love and understanding.

Even at the center of God’s will, challenges abound and weaknesses are many, some of which you will never be aware of until you marry.  No he/she wasn’t keeping secrets, it’s just as human our weaknesses are many just as our strengths. To get God’s will and to be God’s will, you must be ready to work.

God never give anyone a finish product, but He will give you His raw material and expect you to patiently work on it and present back to Him a spouse you have worked on fitting for His praise and His glory. Are you still ready for His will?

Olumofin Kehinde Benjamin writes for Praying Parents Prayer Group Christian Ministry (3pG)