STEPS TOWARD A BEAUTIFUL MARRIAGE (Part 1)

FIRST AND FOREMOST WHO ARE YOU AND WHO AND WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE?

Many times we have criteria of who others should be or what they should be to fit into our lives. We have ideas who our husbands should be, or what our wives should look like. Though there still many young people who don’t even know what they want in a life partner, so they never sit down and think within themselves what and what do I look forward to in a man or woman I’m to marry and where that is the case, when such marry wrong you don’t blame them you only pity them because they lack foresight.

If you don’t know what you want, you will take anything especially if it is beautiful and appealing and its simply mean you have no standards. That’s a topic for another day.

But for me, who I’m I?  What kind of a wife will I like to be for my future husband or what type of a husband do I want to grow up and become for my wife-to-be? What kind of a father or mother do I want to be for my children when I marry and children start to come in?

Oh I will love to be a good man, a loving caring husband and father. Hmm… I will want to be a beautiful wife, wonderful mother to my children, keeper of home and joy to my husband.  That’s the answer many young men and women will give without giving it a thorough thoughts on how and what must be done to make it happen.

Many marriages are collapsing today, it is said that half of marriages conducted will end in divorce few years after the wedding ceremonies. Not because the marriage institution itself is bad but because many are in it not knowing who they are and what they will like to be in their own marriage to their partner’s but they expect their spouses to be what they are not and soon expectations are cut short and the centre no longer hold.

Before thinking of what you want in a man or woman, let start here first and foremost “who do you want to be to your future spouse?”

Discourse Questions:

1. Many young adults have an idea of who they want as partner but few measure themselves with their own set standards and in many cases themselves lack the qualifications they are looking for. Why do you think this is so?

2. Some don’t even have a personal criteria for chosen a life partner, so anything is OK. You’ll agree such need to be pity. How can such be helped? In few words what do you want in a life partner and what should those that doesn’t know look out for?

Discourse Question 1:

Many young adults have an idea of who they want as partner but few measure themselves with their own set standards and in many cases themselves lack the qualifications they are looking for. Why do you think this is so?

By nature human being are very selfish. We look forward to see in others things we don’t have. The impatience want a patience spouse, the lousy want a gentle spouse. Someone that has no place for God may even be looking for someone that love God as a spouse. To solve this, you don’t only ask for what you want in others but what benefits you can offer others as well, especially your own future husband or wife. What are the admirable qualities in you that make him/her most fortunate person in the world for having you by his/her side? Look within and see if there is any like that.

If you don’t get to fix this before marriage, most likely your spouse will be disappointed few days after the wedding. That’s one reason many marriages are out of joints. Instead of looking within, people keep looking at their spouses for solutions to their own personal problems. It’s good to know what you want but it’s more blessed to pray to have and know what you can offer.  If you don’t plan to have Bible believing Christian home as young adult, God won’t drop one on your lap as married adult. Start planning and praying today if you desire that.

If you want God’s will in marriage, ask yourself “I’m I God’s will myself for someone out there?” Can God proudly hand you over to someone as His will and the person will still be happy 2 or 3 years down the line. Do you have what it takes to qualify for God’s will, even by your own standards? Think and pray about this.

Discourse Question 2:

Some don’t even have a personal criteria for chosen a life partner, so anything is OK. You’ll agree such need to be pity. How can such be helped? What do you want in a life partner and what should those that doesn’t know should look for?

What do I look out for in a life partner? I put it in simple word – COMPATIBILITY. Look for compatibility, someone whose life is compatible with yours. Don’t look for opposite, pray for someone that like what you like and appreciate what you appreciate, not necessarily in all aspects of life but in areas that are very important to your well-being and happiness in life as a person and as a Christian.

These includes but not limited to the following areas: Spiritual compatibility, Physical and emotional compatibility, compatibility in money management, Medical compatibility, compatibility in terms of maturity, educational compatibility, romance and sexual compatibility etc.

God is all involving, He is as much as interested in all aspects of our lives as He is in the spiritual area of our lives. “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end” (Jer.  29:11).

We hope to expand more on each of these aspect of compatibilities in few days from here. Reserve your worries till then.

Take few moments off to think through these two responses and pray about these things… If you start planning and praying about what will make you happy and make you better Christian parents with your future spouse, you will have it. Many of our parents may have failed in all these, but we can be different if we ask Him and are willing to be the best we can be.

“If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it” (John 14:14).

Olumofin Kehinde Benjamin writes for Praying Parents Prayer Group Christian Ministry (3pG)