Its 5am. It’s so quiet now, no noise, no sound, except the occasional crow of chickens that are nature’s ways of reminding mortals that it’s a new morning. However, prior to this hour, Ziv, my male Rottweiler dog had wailed and made noisy sounds all night. He was on his feet practically all night, trying and hoping by some way he might gain entrance into the female dog’s cage, at the entrance of which he had kept vigil all night.

My sleep was hampered by his noise and wails, I knew he was asking me to come help him open the females’ cage, but I had made up my mind, not tonight, and not this season. The females will be 9 years each at the end of this year, though strong but I feel they need to have their well-deserved rest from raising puppies, having done that all their lives. Hmm, human and our way of standing in the way of nature but that’s not the issue here now. I have a more serious matter at heart.

I have two adult female dogs, and same for the male, Rottweiler and German Shepherds, and for whatever reason, the two females came on heat at the same time. It’s been years we had it like that. Now, the female dogs’ reproductive circles in many ways is very similar to the humans’ female cycle, except it happens every 4-6months.  The heat period in dogs takes about 21 days, it is rarely hidden, even though they try to do so but the blood droplets that trail their paths often betray this.

Now animals generally and dogs in particular, don’t know their gender, the males and the females don’t mate, it never crosses their minds, and they have no zeal or intention for it, until when the females go on heat. At the beginning of the 21 days’ heat, the male still don’t have much problem, not until the 13-15 days when the female start ovulating that the natural instinct to mate take over them. The females too don’t see the need to mate and won’t even allow the males until they start ovulating, and nature has put this in place as natural alarms that goes off to signal the need for mating.

This is God’s way of maintaining their kind upon the surface of the earth. Now note please, the males don’t know it has an instrument for mating between its hind feet, they don’t even know they are male and the females likewise, not until the female goes on heat. This is a natural cycle that God also placed in the female to remind it of its role to help replenish their kind upon the earth in fulfillment of God’s blessed command for all living creatures “whose seed (reproductive apparatus) was in itself, after his kind,” that says, “be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth” (Genesis 1:12, 22, 28). Hence, the reason for the weird attitude of Ziv all night. It isn’t his fault, nature calls and he just can’t help but obey. He cried and wailed all night, even as I write, I hear him making all sorts of sound, as if in deep trauma. On some occasions, he gets into a fight with the other male, can even get injured and is ready to fight to death, all to get to mate with the females that are on heat.

The problem is not with the males, it isn’t their fault, they can’t just help themselves, and it is beyond their control. Nature has gotten the best of them, and the desire to mate has consumed the two males, Ziv, being the alpha dog, has gone totally off himself. The other kept his cool, in respect for the alpha male and suffers silently. Now here is the lesson and the point in all of these. Nature has put natural alarms in all of God’s creatures, “whose seed (reproductive apparatus) was in itself, after his kind,” by which He controls, and regulates the population of each species and their kinds, humans inclusive. There are processes humans tries to control as free moral agents but we must recognize the fact that we have our limits and that certain things are beyond our help and we can’t just control them forever.

And one of such is the issue of mating, just as Ziv found himself in a peculiar situation he can’t help but wail, cry and even became unsettled, so are many men. A lot of married men are wailing, crying and are struggling under their skins with nature just for opportunities to mate with the woman, and in many cases, the women, their wives, are not just available, for whatever reason to help them. And I will state few reasons for this and the impact on the man and his ability to make sound judgments in times like this.

Now, the woman like other female animal God created, has her cycle monthly until menopause. I believe God was deliberate when He made the woman’s cycle, one of the shortest, if not the shortest among all mammals. Partly because He sees into the future, and knows the danger that waits ahead, in a civilized and fashion controlled society of today, if human females have longer cycle than they do now. And also partly because He saw the need for humans to multiply and populate the earth, so as to keep steps ahead of animals, whose population might threaten that of human if they are allowed to rapidly multiply and fill the earth at much higher rate than that of human. He was right.

But over the years, sex has been a perennial trouble at home, hardly is any family having enough. The foundation of trouble and infighting in many homes are most likely rooted in insufficient sex or a complete lack of it 70-90% of the times. These are pitfalls Apostle Paul by the Holy Spirit warned married believers to guide against, he says, “don’t refuse sex to each other, unless you agree not to have sex for a little while, in order to spend time in prayer. Then Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control” (1 Corinthians 7:5 CEV). There have been cases where married women say they are not having enough but 90% of the time, like my Ziv, it is the man that suffer, and mostly due to natural chemistry he has no much control over, even at his best. It matters not, if he is a spirit filled believer or not. It is just a part of him he has no absolute control over.

Yes, for a woman, she has the time she is in the mood for it, but nature has so designed it that the mood is so frequent and has nothing much to do with her ovulation like other female animals. She should desire it more when she ovulate, but the desire is mostly there most days of the month, except she either kills it or ignore it, as she has the power to, and as long as she shut her ears to sweet and romantic words that could easily turn her on. And this is where the woman has an edge over the man. He will forget sex and think less of it as long as he did not see any sensitive part of the woman’s body, any woman at all, whether it be that of his wife or the woman on the street. The woman’s body is nature’s alarm clock that triggers the man’s desire for mating, just as ovulating during heat triggers those of lower animals.

For humans, man has been given power to look away from, ignore it and have his body in subjection when by chance he sees the naked image of another woman other than his wife. “Let not your heart’s desire go after her fair body; let not her eyes take you prisoner” (Proverbs 6:25 BBE). Though even at this, he has his limit, every man has his, and there is a point he can’t just control himself, and so he wails and struggle within himself and if not helped on time, his ability to make sound sexual judgement can be severely affected in the least expected place and time and may find himself in the arms of a woman, he ordinarily won’t fall for in his right senses. I think a sex deprived mature woman too suffers same thing when her power of self-control is exhausted and her sexual defense is broken down. Spirituality do help control these things but spirituality does not have all the answers to sex. Anyone can be exposed and fall, where no legitimate help sex wise, is found on time.

I have heard women wondering if sex is food for men, and why are they never tired? Why do men want sex “every time”? I think I know the answer. Men are not machines, many don’t actually want sex every time, as a matter of fact, any adult male, knows sex is work, sex is exhaustive, energy sapping and will want to say no sometimes but alas, to a certain degree, it is not in the power of man, to do this. This may differ from one man to another, but the difference is not that much. And the reason is simple, nature has an inbuilt alarm in the male, he can’t control when it goes off and when it is not, unless he stays permanently indoors, or walk the streets with his two eyes closed, if that is possible.

This is the dilemma of today’s man, he is daily exposed to too many live images of sensitive parts of the woman, either on his smartphone, his TV set, on the street, on advert bill board, even if what’s being advertised has nothing to do with women. Nothing calls for a man’s attention more than a half-naked woman sitting, walking or lying sumptuously idle. Each new day, the cloth of modern women, reduces in length. The more flesh a woman exposes, the more she thinks she’s celebrated but unknown to her, the more of her body she reveals, the more she helps set off the sexual alarm systems of as many men as possible that crosses her path. Thus putting more sexual pressure on another woman’s man, so much that his wife finds it hard coping with his demand, coupled with the wife’s personal unmet expectations that makes sex unattractive to her. Beaten without and denied within, the man groan and wail for help like my Ziv, plummeted under the weight of nature ringing bells inside his loins.

The woman’s desire for sex most times is not just determined by her lover’s soothing words, but how much physical materials the man indulges her with, and where this is not enough, her sexual desire declines. Her thirst for more is usually influenced by the same ‘‘sex idols’’ that walk naked on the streets, whose sense of fashion she’s unwillingly competing with. The wife think she’s uncared for if she is less indulged like the woman on the street and denies the husband a satisfactory and regular access to herself and unwittingly set a perfect ground for sexual sins when both or one partner, become sexually unfulfilled with broken sexual defenses that are in disaster. A failed sexual defense will do no good for any marriage, just like a broken hedge exposes to danger, the lives that are kept behind it (Ecclesiastes 10:8),

Women help your husbands, as men should their wives, too many God’s people are sexually unwell, with sexual alarms that are permanently set on either by what the men see daily, or what new indulgent materials the women are daily tempted with. Even churches that were once holy ground, are now besieged by women in half clothing, looking sumptuous to the tempting admiration of both sexes and so many are crying, including pastors and are being weighed down, with no help in sight, not even by their own spouses. The wives don’t have all the answers, neither can they stop all the agents of devils that walk the streets half naked from behaviors that keep men’s natural sexual alarm in jeopardy but you can help protect your man, your husband, by being available for sex, regularly and happily too, as hard as he too does his best to provide for your need. But making this the basis for availability is to walk hand in hand with the tempter into your own bedroom without suspecting it.

Husbands and wives should be fair with each other about having sex. A wife belongs to her husband instead of to herself, and a husband belongs to his wife instead of to himself.  So don’t refuse sex to each other, unless you agree not to have sex for a little while, in order to spend time in prayer. Then Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control” (1 Corinthians 7:3-5 CEV). The truth is when the chips are down, the family, especially the woman and the children pay the bigger bill, leaving the man with regrets he may never recover from. The wife can also help when she makes up her mind, to reduce how much sensitive flesh she freely gives to the public on her own part as well, each time she dresses to go out and likewise encourage her daughters and women around her to do the same. “The aged women likewise…That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,  To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed” (Titus 2:2-5 KJV).

Just imagine how many men you would have helped thereby saving families and homes from sexual sins when you and your daughters refuse to join the growing leagues of women “with the attire of an harlot’ (Proverbs 7:10). It takes determination not to be a sexual alert for other people’s husbands in the way you dress and in the styles of dressing you adopt. The family is under constant sexual attack and much pressure is placed on some women back at home, each time someone’s husband’s sexual alarm is unnecessarily set agog just because another woman on the street, which sometime is even a believer, or a daughter of a believer, chose to display too much flesh for others to see in the name of fashion.

The man, even at his best, when faced with a sexual alarm system that is permanently on, for too long, with insufficient or no help at all from his wife, risk sexual exposure that may not only put his family in danger, even his walk with God and his eternity with God can be endangered as well. In the days of Job, he covenanted with his eyes, to look less on the women that walked the street with compromised attires (Job 31:1). God needs more men like Job today. I know this is difficult but not impossible, when we trust God enough. Each time a woman reveal too much flesh, either she’s a believer or not, she’s doing the devil’s work, and may suffer same end, with those who have covenanted with demons to work against God and against families. May that not be us.