By OLUMOFIN Kehinde Benjamin

Marriage rarely grow FEELINGS. Don’t ignore your feelings and romantic connection with him/her before you marry.

You will think you are spiritual until you married someone you have no feelings for. It’s then you will understand why God demands “Love and Submit” from couples.

You can’t happily love or submit and serves someone you have no romantic feelings for. It is like climbing a hill every day trying to love or submit to someone that ‘irritates’ you. You will never know how arrogant and self serving you are until you married someone you have no romantic connection with. You will then know you can be difficult to pleased. You will then know the meaning of “love covereth multitude of sins” because someone you have no feelings for will always offend you, whereas, where the feelings are mutual, offences are rarely counted.

Please, take your feelings as important as you will take his/her faith, “being born again” or not; and some other values you consider important to the future you wants for yourself. Whoever tells your feelings is not important or that it will grow once married is not your friend nor the friend of your future marital happiness. You are free to quote me anywhere and anytime.

Where I saw this many people are blaming the man for betraying the woman and felt he’s demon possessed possibly. So I commented as follows, hope it helps in some way.

Many people don’t believe that this problem is real and it is in many families, especially believing homes where marriages were conducted based on faith and common spiritual affinity and attractive feelings as humans where not fully put into considerations. It is possible for two persons to “love” each other, even be best of friends and yet lack romantic feelings for each other. Where this is so, outwardly they can be best of couples and they love to stay with each other but when it come to love making the desire will be too little to foster the growth they desire as man and wife and that will pose a big problem for their union and the constant possibility of wanting to be with another will be a silent and regular war in that union.

It is important to note that marriage don’t grow feelings, once it is not there, it is not there and to believe it will begin to come once married can be very difficult, though not impossible. Please for the unmarried, once you don’t have romantic feelings and attraction towards someone please DON’T marry, even if all other spiritual, academics, financial etc qualifications are right. In marriage, no matter how good a person is in other aspects of life, once sexual attraction is missing, the marriage won’t stil work or at best, you will just be tolerating each other.

We are sexual beings and sexual feelings is important for marriage. He/she is my best friend or my prayer partner or any of those fine qualifications are good but once he/she is not sexually appealing to you please don’t marry. Such marriage will be full of frustrations and nothing that person do will makes you happy, unless you intentionally create the feeling but I tell you, that’s a difficult thing to do, though not impossible.

The bottom line is, if sexual feelings is lacking, please don’t marry, no matter how the person qualifies in some other aspects. Marriage don’t create feelings. Please talk to a counselor, if you feel you are in a relationship where your feeling was never considered at the start. Not all situations like this are demonic or spiritual, though some are, but where feeling’s has been robbed, many things will go wrong.

OLUMOFIN Kehinde Benjamin, is the Group Admin, 3pG Christian Ministry.