MANIPULATIVE DRAMA QUEEN

Genesis 39:19 “And it came to pass, when his master heard the words of his wife, which she spake unto him, saying, After this manner did thy servant to me; that his wrath was kindled.”

The Bible detailed the story of Potiphar wife, a heathen mistress of a large and rich house. Potiphar was no doubt one of the richest palace men in the old and powerful Egypt. He was the captain of the palace guard (Gen. 37:36). Though nothing more or less was expected from a family sown to idolatry of all that happened in the stories of Potiphar, his wife and Joseph. To say the wife should have done better than she did was to expect too much from a rich and famous Egyptian wife. God knew their ways of life, all the scheming and manipulations in homes and palaces of heathen nations, He is very much aware of the role the women played in entrenching seduction and sexual perverseness in these nations, the painting and the dressing to kill, were part of these societies. He knew these, He frown at them and warn His children to avoid sexual interactions and marriages with them. He gave us this story, so we can learn and avoid similar pitfalls as pilgrims and joint heirs of grace in His Son Jesus Christ.

SOFT BUT DEADLY WEAPON

In ancient cultures, young women are made to undergo training in sexual manipulations and seductive behaviors in order to increase their fighting chances in men dominated societies and as soft weapons in conquering palaces and homes of powerful men. To keep a man at home, it was believed, a woman must master the use of her body and behaviors in the mind games, in order to control and use the man for her personal interests which otherwise would have been impossible to achieve by means of strength and physical abilities inherent in men. These give room to deceit, dishonesty and deaths in homes and palaces, many powerful men were brought low and destroyed using this tactic and a quick Bible example was the role of Delilah in the fall and death of a highly anointed and super strong Samson the Nazarite. It has been and it will always be, God frowns at it and warn His children of it (Prov.6:24-26).

DRAMA QUEEN

Unlike the unbelieving seductive mistresses, daughters of Zion are sincere and honest in all they do, they act what they say and say what they mean. It is the manner and way of life of those outside grace to act with the intention to manipulate their husbands to submission in matters affecting their relationships and homes. Christian women are not drama queens, there is no manipulation in holiness. “Haa Pastor! If I don’t manipulate him, I will never get anything of value from him, he always deny me my right as wife and the mother of his children”. “I gave him everything but I have benefited nothing from him. I’m only being wise, otherwise I and the children will end up as losers”. Being wise has never been the same as being cunning, manipulating and deceptive. Jesus asked His followers to be wise as serpent but not as cunning, deadly and manipulative soft weapon as serpent.

The devil is the master manipulator and deceptor in chief, and the act of dramatizing with the intent of manipulating to achieve personal end is the direct product of eating the forbidden fruit. It is the nature of demons transferred to the woman, at the very first bite of the forbidden fruit and in turn she made her husband to eat the fruit with her. God will judge deceit and all lies. Don’t give or withhold sex with the intent to manipulate your husband, love making should be out of love and for mutual sexual satisfaction and not as a tool or weapon of deceit, dressing to provoke the sexual desire and attention of men is satanic and ungodly, crying and appearing helpless in order to win attention of your husband or those around you over to your malicious desire is of the devil and must stop, they are enemy’s traits that defile the temple of God which is your body.

DON’T LIVE IN THE PAST

Using your wife/husband weaknesses to play or whip him/her in line to your will is wrong and ungodly, engaging in blame games and pushing faults to the door step of one another is not expected in Christian families. These are what make unbelieving partners suffer ship wreck in marriages and should never be encouraged in Jesus centered homes. Our families are built on faith, the faith of the Lord Jesus Christ, and where there is the gospel faith, love is not scarce. Love is the center of attention in all Christian hearts and homes. Love is never selfish and is not manipulative. Never manipulate your husband/wife to dislike a neighbor, an in-law, a family friend, persons or organizations just because you have a personal disappointment with them.

Potiphar wife knew she was wrong but to cover up her track, she put forth some delicate acts, played the victim and manipulated her husband to hating and punishing a man who has been a benefactor and source of blessings to her family. The Bible spared us the details of her sorrowful end, but of certainty, she would have buried her face in shame when Joseph emerged as the most powerful palace staff in all Egypt. That your relationship with men/women ended badly in the past despite commitments and investments put in each of them, should never be a yardstick to measure your behavior with the man/woman God has blessed you with now in marriage. And a continuous desire to seek revenge and pay back on men/women in past relationships will only add more sorrow to the heart and rob present relationship precious opportunities to be happy. Dwelling and whining on the past will deny you of peace in the present and the promise of joy in the days ahead and in the life after. These are ways of the world, and that’s why they are called unbelievers. Once in Christ, forgiven and saved by the Blood of Jesus Christ, our thinking and way of life should change and reflect our new hope and faith in the Son of God. There is no deception and manipulation in Christianity and should not be found in Christian homes either.

MEN ARE NOT EXEMPTED

Once a man discover you are a drama queen, that you are manipulative in your approach, he grows a thick skin and read meaning to whatever you do or say. He builds a defense mechanism and protect his position before considering yours on any matter affecting the home, even on issues you are sincere about. This does not exempt men in the art of deceit, many men are like the devil, to be pitied are women who are their victims, either as wives, daughters, mothers or sisters. They are like Judas Iscariot, they will sell anyone and anything for gain. We did not learn that from Christ. Manipulating your wife to submission, treating her like an old undesirable housemaid, denying your family of financial support and protection in order to make a point is of the devil and all satanic behaviors are as guilty of hell as those who are given to them.

There is room for repentance and to take up the life and ways of Jesus Christ, which is healthier and better. In Jesus Christ is peace and rest of mind, you can say a thing and forget it, many years later you will say the same thing on same subject without having to keep track of the former statements, if you are in Christ Jesus. That is the best way to buy peace and good health but those outside Jesus Christ, have to always keep records of past lies and keep covering up lies with lies in order to avoid being exposed. That is a way to buy heaviness of heart, worries and anxieties. It is the surest route to high blood disorder and ill health. This does not mean Christians cannot be sick, but there is a big difference between the sick and worried heart in a bad body and a believing peaceful heart of a child of God who is just going through a passing phase of life.

MARRIAGE IS GOOD

Brethren let us love one another, and be careful with the way we treat each other. Trying to win your partner over and buying your way into his/her heart through the back door of deceit and manipulation is repeating and acting over again the event of the Garden of Eden that led to the fall of man. Aside Adam and Eve, God also judged the serpent who gave itself to be possessed and used by the enemy to destroy what God said was good at creation. 

Marriage is good and honourable, says the scripture, never be the mouth piece or the available instrument to be used by the enemy to destroy your own family and the purpose of God and the reason He brought you into that man/woman’s life in holy matrimony. All the enemy wants is to make your home miserable, make your marriage difficult and see to its eventual collapse using you as his instrument within. He wants you to destroy your family and your own happiness with your own hands while he steps back and take the credit for it by blaming you for listening to him in the first place. God has a Date, through Jesus Christ, in which He will judge all acts of deceit and manipulations again as He did in Eden when He drove out Adam and Eve from physically accessing the Tree of Life after they fell to the vice of the Serpent.

In same manner likewise, he will drive away from His presence throughout eternity, as many manipulating drama queens and landlords of deceits in homes and families. May we not be found guilty of treachery and dishonesty in our homes and in our families in Jesus Name (Malachi 2:14-15). Amen! We can’t be manipulating each other, deceiving each other and expect our children to be truthful and honest, like beget like.  To have a honest and united family where partners are transparent in love and deeds, efforts must be made. Happy family can never be achieved where and when partners do not say what they mean and do not do what they say. Certainly, the Spirit of Jesus Christ won’t be there also (1 Corinthians 14:33).

May God speak more to your hearts on this in Jesus Name. Amen