The husband is the pillar of his house, from him come the roots that hold to the Foundation upon whom his house is built. The deeper he goes into Christ the better the chance and the possibility of his house standing in the face of external or spiritual aggressions which wages war against families. The man give his house its shape, he coordinate family values which help guide family members in their day to day decision making. When he stands, the tree, which is his family stand, if he falls, the tree, which is his family fall with him. There is no tree without the trunk, just as the family is incomplete without the man. The crown and the fruits will blossom or falls on the standard the man set for his house. He must be in charge.

The man must be ready and be seen to rise up and stand for his wife and children, who are the core members of his family because he is their leader. He leads, especially in spiritual matters that affect his home. When he leads his wife and children follows. He must be able to discern the mind of God for his family and lead them in the right direction per time and season. He must be in-tune with the thought and mind of God for His children through His promises and revealed will in the Bible. Despite his busy schedule, he must take deliberate and diligent steps to study and be a man of the Word for his children to see and learn from his examples of obedience and trust in God.

We must also iterate the fact that every Christian father knows he’s answerable to God and his family and such must help guide his actions and inactions. The man may go wherever he pleases, does whatever he like, but there comes a time when age and experiences would have had the best of him and he would say like Solomon, “I have no pleasure in them” (Eccl.12:1). At that time he would be made to reckon with and accountable to the same people he has taken for granted all his adult life. We need good men in the families and not big boys. Children need good men to emulate and not the pompous self-willed immature big boy whose heart is knitted with vanities and in need of a Redeemer. Today, we are going to start from here and state more reasons the man need to stand for his family.

1. HE IS NOT JUST A LEADER, HE IS THE FATHER OF THE HOUSE

A father goes beyond being a married man with children. There are many married men with children but very few are playing the role of a father. A father takes responsibility for happenings in his house, he leads, he guide, and he take spiritual accountability for his family. He knows the importance of blessings from father to children, so he deliberately and consciously calls and blesses his children by name and with their name in the Name of Jesus Christ. I don’t mean he just pray for them in his private prayers, yes he will do that but aside that like Jacob, Joseph, Moses and men of old, from time to time he make powerful 3-dimentional blessing of grace on each child and everyone under his roof including his wife. A father that is ashamed or guilt ridden or fearful and unable to bless members of his own household is not worth the name. He’s merely a husband with children.

A true Christian father study the Word, knows the Word, live the Word and use the Word deliberately to bless his children. The Word of God invokes God’s Presence and His Presence brings Life, in His Life is light to our path and when there is light, darkness disappears. As Christian fathers we know there is power and authority beyond words in the Word of God and we must be determined to study and know the mind of God per time and to bless our household, especially our children with nothing but prayers soaked and backed with the Word of God as it is written. This we will do today, we will do tomorrow and as long as His Life is in us working that which He will in us and through us in Jesus Name. Amen.

It should be a regular part of our stories as fathers and mothers alike to invoke the Triune God 3-Dimentional Blessing on each members of our household thus: May God bless you and keep you. May God make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you. May God lift up His countenance upon you and give you peace. And we openly in all boldness seal each person with His name as He commanded and in return, God will bless them. Amen!  (Numb.6:24-27). As fathers we believe the Word of God, and we have to put it promises into use in our families just as it is written.

The devil is a very smart person, many don’t know. He knew each time you make bold to say it is written and pronounce blessing upon your children as they are written in the Scriptures, you move them a step closer to finding purpose in life, so he will make sure you are too busy with some other issues to keep your attention from study the Bible and therein weaken your stance in your primary duty of blessing your children as a father. Many are kept busy with self and sin, some with religious and church activities they forget they have children at home. Little wonder many pastors children are opposite of their fathers sermons. That’s a topic for another day. A child or your wife or a member of your household you don’t deliberately pronounce blessing on from time to time, may find it difficult walking in the blessed life just like any other children on the street whose parents are ignorant and unaware of their rights in Christ Jesus as revealed through the Word.

Many adults have suffered and struggle through life because their parents were ignorant and unaware of Bible promises, our children don’t have to go through the same road we went through in life if as fathers we can start investing powerful words of Bible promises in prayers into their lives and destinies and it is never too late to start, even if all your children are all grown up and married with children. They are still your children irrespective of age. You owe them that much and you owe their children as well.

A father is mature in thoughts and actions, not an empty big boy who knows nothing about grace and righteousness and himself need a tutor. A father is firm and yet forgiving. He understands his wife and loves her despite her. No husband can be the father he is destined to be without a revelational understanding of destinies under his roof. When you get understanding spiritual fatigue disappears, utterances in prayers will come, and taking spiritual responsibility becomes easy. Most time we are slow and irresponsive to spiritual things because we have little or no understanding of what God have in store for our families through the children he has given us. With all you get, get understanding (Pro.4:7). This brought to mind a particular example I want to share with you.

Many years ago a woman told me of her twins’ boys, they were very small then. They were been tormented night after night by a presence she could not see but she knew was there. The boys will cry and shouted in pains from their sleep and all she could do what pray and the boy will be relieved and fall asleep while she in prayer watch over them. As long as she’s awake and praying, her boys will sleep but as soon as she is tired and tried sleeping herself, the boys are awake with cries and in torment again. This goes own for a couple of nights, she sleeps, the boys are awake in pains and shouts, and she keep prayer vigil the boys sleep very deeply. One day she summoned courage and told me her story and how her regular night vigil is taking toll on her health. And her husband was away on a job related journey as at the time.

My response to her was simple and shocking: God is not sleeping and you are not sleeping, if you don’t stop denying yourself of sleep, you will kill yourself and the children will still live. She was startled, and I told her what to do. Pray for your children every night before they sleep, cover them with the Blood of Jesus Christ and leave the rest for God while you enjoy your sleep. It was as if that was what that demon was waiting for, she tried it and the children were never disturbed again. The solutions to big problems are sometimes very simple and that’s what understanding does in a man’s life. Women are by nature very emotional and will cry when faced with stress but a man will seek understanding and direction from God whenever his family and children are threatened.

2. HE NEEDS GOD BECAUSE HE DOESN’T KNOW IT ALL

That you are a father doesn’t mean you have a perfect understanding of all happenings around you. No one does, not even the best of saints. That’s why we all need God no matter how much we think we know. And those that are spiritual know their limits and how helpless man can be in matter affecting his own family without the help of God. God deliberately allow us to know in part so we can depend on Him for help and directions on all issues affecting our homes. As a father you must accept the fact that life will always bring your ways many questions than answers and you need His wisdom and grace to fill in the gap. Wisdom teaches that it is in the many questions with little answers that are hidden the beauty of learning His Will, waiting on His leading and apprehending the depth of His love in all family matters. When we know Him and do His will, He abides with us still and with as many fathers who will trust and obey. Join me and pray these prayers:

a. Father make me the father you planned for me in my family (1Tim.3:4-5).

b. Open my eyes of understanding to see and to know your will per time for my family and children in particular (Psa.49:3).

c. Help me to trust you for directions in all matter that affect my family (Psa.71:1).

May God bless His word in your hearts and may His grace be sufficient for you to heed this call and make good your family for the sake of your children and their children after them.

This post was originally posted as an audio broadcast for Praying Parent Prayer Group Christian Ministry under the title “Make The Tree Good.”