LESSON FROM HERODIAS AND SALOME

Matthew 14: 3-12. Mark 6: 14-24, Luke 3: 19-20

The story of Herodias and Salome is sadly the worst child abuse or manipulation event that was recorded in the Bible between a mother and child. This evil act led to the death of John the Baptist. We will consider whether this type of mother-daughter relationship still exist today and lessons that we can learn from this story to prevent us from falling into similar error.

Good or bad, Salome danced to please the king and was given a blank cheque to request for whatever she wanted. Rightly, she turned to her mother for advice on what to ask the king. This in itself showed that Salome trusted and respected her mother’s opinion. As mothers, we should build relationships with our children from early age so they can turn to us when they need guidance, advice and support.

Preceding the dancing event however, Herodias had been nudging a grudge against John the Baptist and had planned to kill him.  All these, out of her own selfish interest because she was offended at the truth spoken by John. Instead of Herodias considering to ask the King what would benefit and add value to Salome, herself or her ‘so-called husband’, the king and even the entire kingdom, she was so much taken with hatred for John the Baptist that despite so many options of good things to ask for, she chose to give in to her selfish desire.

How many times have we as parents been consumed with anger towards how our children were treated by their friends and had rashly given the child wrong advice in order to get even with the offender. We have also seen mothers turning blind eye to their child being abused by a partner just to protect their own selfish interest with the men in question. There have been parents who used their children as a ‘pawn’ to access benefit payment from government that they were not entitled to. Some parents even claim their child is disabled or they exaggerate the child’s physical/mental health needs without necessarily giving consideration to how this might impact negatively on the child in the future.

In addition, this type of child manipulation can also be portrayed in situation such as asking a child to lie for a parent in order to protect our own personal interest or get out of a difficult situation. Also, some parents have often advised their children to retaliate and fight back another child in school instead of following the schools policy of reporting such incidences to teachers and school authorities etc.

It is a fact that many children have a trusting relationship with their parents and will usually look unto them first for advice and counselling. But if you don’t know the purpose of God for a child, abuse is inevitable (Bro Kenny Olumofin). Therefore to guard against such an abuse, Psalm 127: 3 reminded us that children belongs to God. And even though we are their custodian, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God for each and every child in our care. So next time, you are tempted as a parent to do something as simple as asking your child to lie for you or fill that form to make a false benefit/ insurance claim. Remember first that you will give an account to God and also the word of Jesus in Matthew 18:6 that says: “whoever causes one of the little one to sin, it would be better for him to have a great milestone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.”

Moreover, every action has its consequences. From Herodias and Salome story, the Bible did not give us information on how Salome’s request, as coached and prompted by her mother, affected her later on in the future. Salome’s request for the head of John the Baptist could have made her become as cold hearted and manipulative as her mother or it could have led her into depression, thereby loathing herself and mother for killing an innocent man. So likewise, as parents, we should always consider the impact of all our decision on our children’s present and future.

What can we do as parents?

As parents, we should repent and ask God to forgive us in anyway we have misled our children in the past in order to satisfy our own flesh and also make necessary corrections as led by the Holy Spirit.

Whenever a child comes to us for an advice, especially when it is a difficult situation, we should ask the Holy Spirit, our Teacher, for guidance. If possible pray with that child and seek God’s guidance together. And remember we do not have to give an answer immediately, we can take time to pray over the issue and revert back to the child on a later date when we have got more clarifications. This is because there are many situations that human wisdom cannot resolve except through the power of prayers.

May we not be found guilty of negligence and deliberate manipulation of our children as parents and guidance in Jesus Name. Amen

Bunmi Afere (Mrs) writes for Praying Parents Prayer Group (3pG).