Saturday 23 March 2019

We admonished in the write up DAILY LOADS OF BENEFITS that women should ask their husbands to pray for them and bless them, and that he should do it regularly. That this is right and expected. Now the question is:

Discourse:

If a believing woman has an unbelieving husband, is it appropriate for her to ask him to pray for her or submit herself to his blessings and if he pray, will God hear him since the Bible says God will not hear sinners (John 9:31)?

God sometimes put a distinction between the man and the gift, or the man and the office or the man and his God given authority. A man can operate from the office and authority of a leader (spiritual or temporal), a husband and a father at the same time, differently from himself as an individual. These are offices and authorities given to him by God to operate from and while exercising the authorities of those offices, God can sometimes relate with him base on the covenant promise He has with those offices, irrespective of the personality of the person occupying those offices as at that point in time.

A pastor might be having a steady illicit affair with another woman in his congregation that he is not married to and still be operating effectively as a pastor in the display of gifts, administration, doing of miracles and yet before God his person has no acceptable record, even though God still honour his prayers on behalf of his congregation and honour his word as a leader of His people. God is simply relating with him base on the office he occupies but his person is long rejected.

Same is a drunkard, or a cheat or a dubious person or a dishonest man who is a father or a husband, when he prays and blesses his family, God may honour his words on behalf of his children as a father or on behalf of his wife as a husband base on his authorities and covenants God has with those offices, but his person and his personal prayers that has nothing to do with those offices he occupy may not be honoured by God till he find mercy and change of heart through repentance. God will honour his eternal covenant with an office irrespective of the person occupying the office but when it comes to accountability, everyone will answer for him/herself.

These things are also true for mothers and wives when they operate in those offices for their children or on behalf of the men in their lives even though the person as an individual woman may not be acceptable to God as a result of personal/individual sinful lifestyle. Some good Bible examples to this truth are many, Adam as a husband was punished for listening to his wife above God who gave him His covenant of multiplications as a husband and the authority of a leader but Adam as a son was not rejected. He lost his authority as a man and his place in Eden but God was still his father.

Moses smote the rock twice instead of speaking to it as ordered by God (Number 20:11). God heard him and honoured his request as a pastor, a spiritual leader despite his error which God couldn’t forgive, but his persons was rejected. If not for God’s mercy Moses would not only have missed entering the Promised Land, he would have missed heaven as well (Jude 1:9).

Amaziah did what was right before God as a king in his 29 years reign but not with a perfect heart (2Chronicles 25:2). God recognized his sacrifices as a king and were accepted but himself was rejected because he offered and did that which was right in his capacity as a king but the condition of his heart was unacceptable, thus on a personal ground he was rejected. He lived a dual life, a good king but a bad man with a corrupt heart. It is possible, to be a good father and a loving husband and still be full of filth, a lost sinner before God. We must not confuse the office or the gift or the authority of the office with the man who occupy them. A good display of the gift is not always a sign of acceptability and correct personal relationship with God.

Caiaphas made a profound statement at the trial of Jesus Christ prior to His crucification (John 11:49-52). Himself and the people that heard him must have praise the wisdom of the high priest Caiaphas but alas, it wasn’t actually Caiaphas the man that spoke, but Caiaphas the high priest. Same person, dual personalities. The Caiaphas the high priest spoke but Caiaphas the man took the credit. God honoured the word of the high priest Caiaphas, but the man Caiaphas as at the point in time was siding with the Wicked fulfilling the desire of the devil to eliminate by most gruesome death possible, the Lord of Glory. Same man, two personalities, one spoke as a priest of God, the other took the credit as an unwilling enemy of God.

Just the same way God will honour the word of a backsliding pastor before his church, in order to preserve His own glory, and the man in question may keep confusing God’s faithfulness to the covenant of the office he occupies to God accepting his person. God will never accept the person of a sinner, except he comes repenting but He can chose to hear the same man when he operates from the office of a pastor. God usually separates the man from the office he occupies to His own glory, especially when the life of the man is at variance with His covenant for that office/gift.

So there is nothing wrong for a believing wife to submit for the prayers of an unbelieving husband and a father always have the right to bless his son/daughter as long as the prayers or blessings are not done at a shrine or in the name of an idol. Blessings offered at a shrine or in the names of lesser gods tend to bring the recipients to their control in verbal unconscious covenants with demons. This a believing spouse or child has to say no to, otherwise a father should bless his children and a wife should submit or demand for blessings from the leader of her family, who is also her head and her husband. His relationship with God as a person is another thing in itself, everyman will answer to his own account before God differently from the office he occupied while in the flesh.

Accountability as an office holder, especially for those holding the truth (spiritual offices) in unrighteousness is another case that individual must give account of when they see God. All these are also true for women, wives and mothers. Never confuse the office with the person. God is very much interested in the office as much as He is in the person, though He sometimes treat the two differently as though they are roles played by a distinct or different persons. Man may be confuse but God is never confused.

Let me share this private discussion with you, I got her permission to share her question and my response with the Group.

“As a woman, if you suddenly notice some ungodly attitudes and characters exhibited by your believing husband and you are praying and trusting God to deal with those issues and have also discussed it with him but so far you haven’t seen any change, how easy is it for such a wife to ask that husband to pray for her?”

I must confess to you as human it won’t be easy, partly because of what such a wife is privy to and partly because we know in part. That’s why wives or close relatives of pastors are rarely blessed by their ministry like others outside their family.

Yet not asking him is of no benefit in two ways:

One, you are confusing the man and the authority as a man, a father and a husband together. Yet they are different things entirely when viewed in the light of the scriptures. So not asking him, the wife is dealing with the man while missing out on the authority he has been given as a leader and the head of his family.

It takes deep understanding of the marriage covenant to see and know this.

Secondly, every man has what we call conscience. And as a believer, God communicates to us through it by His Holy Spirit. If such a wife ask the man who she knows is not living right to bless her, in his office as a husband and leader of her home, after he must have done it God will speak to him about his personal filthiness and the need for him to straighten out his relationship with God, if he want to be a faithful high priest of his family. Soon his life will experience a new turn which will not have taken place if the wife has not asked him to pray for her and the children.

At first he might shy away from praying because he knows his life is not right with God, but you can be sure he won’t have rest until he makes things right with God for the sake of his family.

So please forget what you are seeing, kneel before the man and ask for his blessings, and make the children too to do it. And do this regularly as long as he’s not using fetish things to do the praying.

What you need is the authority of his God ordained office, the rest allow God to handle it.

Olumofin Kehinde Benjamin writes for Praying Parents Prayer Group Christian Ministry (+2348062860205).