WHEN GRACE AND BEAUTY IS JUST IN NAMES (PART 3)

1 Kings 21:25 But there was none like unto Ahab, which did sell himself to work wickedness in the sight of the LORD, whom Jezebel his wife stirred up.

THE CONTROLLED MAN

Ahab was the opposite of what most men are. The desire to rule and lead the family is natural to men but there are few like Ahab whose wives are in charge. He forgot that whatever happens, God will hold him accountable first before the wife. That was the error of Adam. The head might not be responsible for the lapses but as long as it happened under his watch, he will be held responsible. That does not give the man a godlike power that cannot be questioned, a good man will consider his wife’s opinion and inputs in all family decisions but to cede complete leadership to her at the expense of his moral obligations is morally weak and spiritually wrong.

Any family where the wife’s wish must always prevail over that of her husband is like driving a family car with the children on board on a busy road with the driver’s two eyes closed. Every woman need a head, a spiritual cover under One God. You are the queen to a good king, you have no business sitting and ruling as king while he lives, even if he’s unwise and ignorant, God’s provision must still be respected. God is the Head of Jesus Christ, and Jesus is the Head and Eternal King over the man and the man is the head over the woman (Ephesians 5:23). That’s a divine formula that cannot be altered without putting the family in the bad book of God.

The error of Ahab and Jezebel did not end with them, as a matter of fact, God promised a penitent Ahab who came trembling at His judgment that His anger will be delayed till the reign of his son and won’t stop until He brings an end to Ahab’s lineage. Manipulating a man to rob him of his headship under whatever guise is ungodly and it’s like deliberately setting one’s own children on a collision course with divinity. Leadership position is not for the weak, Kings and heads must be strong and courageous, and this Ahab had in scarce supply. He would otherwise have been a great and good king if not for his weakness that made Jezebel used him.

SPOILT BOY

1 Kings 21:4 “And Ahab came into his house heavy and displeased because of the word which Naboth the Jezreelite had spoken to him: for he had said, I will not give thee the inheritance of my fathers. And he laid him down upon his bed, and turned away his face, and would eat no bread” (italic emphasis mine)

The boy in Ahab did not grow with his age. He was a privileged spoilt boy of a wicked father, who he outran in the acts of wickedness. Just like any other husband who has been spoilt from childhood, the following define King Ahab:

1. He hates correction – 1 Kings 20:40-43; 18:17-18; 21:4

To reject food at home because of conflict is childish and counterproductive. Whenever a spoilt and pampered boy is rebuked he will swell up in displeasure, run into his bed,  reject food and refuse to talk to anyone because he hates the truth and love to be told what he wants to hear (1 kings 22:12-14, 18). That was what Ahab was, a man that was crowned king at thirty five but lacked the wisdom and maturity of a leader.  Ahab was even better compare to many men that will run into the bed and comfort of other women, some to clubs and fellowship of friends of like minds, once there is conflict at home.

Yes, family conflict can be difficult to handle a times even for the best of men but looking for answers in an ungodly manner outside your home will only add sorrow to an already complicated matter. There is always an answer in Christ Jesus for those who are patient enough to wait on Him. Refusing to eat, avoiding sex with your wife, keeping malice and packing out in anger to another room are all symptoms of spiritual deficiency and lack of good understanding of your spiritual role as the head of your family.

A king that runs away from his own kingdom just because some palace chiefs are behaving unbecoming of their tittles is unworthy of his throne. It is expected of a believing man to be wise, spiritual and mature in Christian dispositions. No one is born with these qualities, they are learned behavior that can be acquired in Jesus Christ once you have found peace and love in His Name. Being the head does not excuse you from corrections and your best critic should be your wife as long as it is done in love and goodwill.

2.  He loves to take what’s not his – 1 kings 21:1-4

Human wants are insatiable. No one can have all he ever wanted at any point in time. The desire to take what’s not morally and spiritual yours is of the evil one. That was the original sin of Lucifer who longs to sit upon the throne of God. Ahab had all the kingdom in his hand, yet he covetously took Naboth’s vineyard and deprived a poor man of his life and inheritance.  He was ungrateful for the much he had and selfishly desired his neighbour’s little. A selfish person is a wicked soul, he cares less about others happiness as long as his own selfish wish is met. How else can one explain an importer of fake and expired products who cares less about the effect of his business on the health of others, babies and children inclusive, just for financial benefits?

That is pure wickedness. Such are like Ahab whose death was even debated in heaven at the height of his wickedness (1 kings 22:19-23) and was visited by God accordingly, himself and all his bloodline. All wickedness and unrepented wicked will be judge both now and in eternity (Isaiah 3:11). No one can rob others of their happiness and think to keep his own, even the children have a way of sharing from their parents’ foolishness. For the sake of the children parents must strive to live right.

He looked the other way while his wicked wife perfected her wicked plan over Naboth just to satisfy a greedy husband. There are men that are difficult to satisfy, no matter how hard the wife try, it will never be enough. That’s a destructive spirit. Many men are betraying their official trust just to add to their fleet of cars. A boy will always like to display his latest toy for all to see. A trip to the pages of Facebook is littered with immature men flaunting their latest exotic cars that are mostly greedily acquired for all to see. The root cause of polygamy is greed, the insatiable appetite for more is the driving power behind adultery and stealing in public offices. Men that are heaven bound will watch and tread carefully in these things.

3. He has no control over his own desires – 1 Kings 16:31

A desperate man love to have whatever he wants at all cost, even if it mean to deprive others of their joy and happiness. An immature man will do anything to get what he wants without giving his action a second thought and that’s the hallmark of an unregenerated soul. It was an uncontrolled desire that led Ahab, an Israelite to an unholy union with Jezebel, a confirmed priestess of a foreign god. He coveted after her beauty, the way she painted her face, tied her head, coloured her eyelids like the dedicated prostitutes of a foreign temple that she was, were no match for the women in Israel and Ahab was overtaken by her craftiness (2 Kings 9:30).

He never got out of her grip thereafter. Godliness and seduction can never dwell in the same tent. An unmarried woman with a face of seduction like Jezebel can never turn out as godly married woman just because she has been married to a believing man who temporary lost his sense of spirituality just before his wedding date and vice versa. A man is as strong as his weakest desire.

4. He has no control over his own family

Ahab was the king but Jezebel was the one ruling. All major decisions affecting the kingdom were taken by Jezebel. She determines who dies and who lives, she was very powerful. This is the same in families where the woman’s opinion overrules any other. Apostle Paul’s advice for deacons and elders is same for all Christian men of all ages. A Christian husband must be:

1 Timothy 3:4 One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; 

1 Timothy 3:5 (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)

1 Timothy 3:12 “…be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well”.

When a man hands over his headship to the wife, especially his leadership and spiritual authority, under any guise is treading the Ahab pathway and the consequence is never in the best interest of the family that God has committed to his hand. A man that gives in so easily to all his wife’s requests without giving it a thorough thought will soon find himself in a mess that will be too difficult for him to clean up and for sure he will likely leave a fragmented family for his children to inherit.

5. Takes decisions without weighing the consequences – 1 kings 16:31

Ahab took so many irrational decisions unbecoming of a king and a prince in Israel without weighing the possible consequences of his actions. His marriage to Jezebel was in direct violation of God’s commandment for which he was the chief custodian. He fell in love with the heavily painted face of Jezebel instead of the moderate simple beauty of a typical Israeli woman and became a victim of her seduction. He also tolerated and built temples for foreign gods which were abomination to the God of Israel and served Jezebel’s gods, thus provoking God to anger (1 kings 16:3). He did not only do all these abominable things, he led others also into the same error using his privileged position. 

Christian men and women have been known to fall in love with unbelieving partners because of their beauty and physical appeals. Some were victims of deceptive facial paintings and seductive eye brows, only to realize few weeks into the marriage that their spiritual values have been underplayed in exchange for handsome and beautiful faces. For the unmarried, the same counsel given to men and women of old is the same as today:

Proverbs 6:25 Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.

Proverbs 31:30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.

2 Corinthians 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

Yet, not all Christians who find themselves with unbelieving partners did so purposely to disobey God’s command, some were genuinely misguided and would have had taken a better route had they known better. For such the Lord knows how to deliver His own from evil and make all things work out for their good if they hold on to Him in faith and trust (Hebrews 10:23). Prayer changes things and prayer changes people. No situation, no matter how bad, is beyond the reach of prayer that is offered in faith from a believing heart. No situation is lost, God is infinite, and no heart is beyond his reach.

“The king’s heart is in the hand of the LORD, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will.” – Prov. 21:1

Christian husbands and fathers must be temperate, mature, good and kind to their wives, to their children and to all, that the name of Christ should not be reproached.

May God speak more to your hearts on this in Jesus Christ Name. Amen.