THE NECESSITY OF NECESSARY PRAYERS

Many people bear the marks of unhealed wounds and carry the burden of a heavy heart, many of which they were unfamiliar with while they were single. Is marriage a problem? The simple answer is NO but failure to do what is right, when it is right and for the right reason. Marriage is like buying a new car, it is beautiful and elegant, just the thought of having it can be so thrilling and wonderful but a new car with poor maintenance culture will soon turn an elegant beauty into a burden for concern. If you are not married, your happiness and peace may depend on you alone and the way you lead your life but once married this is no longer the truth.

Marriage comes with responsibility. Reading of books and articles on marriage, training and retraining on marriage; running a whole year with a spouse without reading a single material on marriage, or attending at least one seminar or Christain talk show on marriage is to run the marital life without knowledge and where there is no knowledge purposes are defeated (Hosea 4:6). This simply mean, if you don’t like reading, and you (and your spouse) rarely attend christian marriage centered seminars, then you are no good material for workable christian marriage in the 21st century.

Remember our common statement as a Group – “if you don’t love reading, you can’t be an effective member of 3pG”. Reading gives you knowledge (you discover things others don’t know) and with knowledge is the ability to make adjustments without losing your self worth and in marrriage, there are plenty adjustments to be made. Training and retraining is continous once married, many of which you will never have need of if you had stayed single. Our joy and happiness in life is in many ways, as a married fellow, attached to the joy and happiness of our spouses. Paul the great Bible writer put it this way in 1 Corinthians 7:32-34:

“But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married careth for…how he may please his wife. There is difference also between a wife and a virgin (unmarried woman). The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for…how she may please her husband.”

This simply means, in the pursue of personal happiness and peace once married, our spouses happiness and peace must be priortise. A troubled spouse will give a troubled marriage, an unhappy man or woman cannot promote a happy marriage. An unhappy marriage cannot bring forth happy children. When you see a relax, peaceful and happy married man/woman, you can be almost sure at the other end is an equally relax, peaceful and happy marriage mate. How will we have this understanding if we never have read or hear the text above read to us? That is why knowledge, especially when it is divine and inspired, is the cursor for correct understanding and wisdom to manage relationships.

Therefore, if you don’t seek out continuous relevant knowledge in regular servicing of your marital bond, you can be very sure, whatever that is keeping you going now will soon be obsolete and the need for new oil to rejuvenate the old love that brought you together at first will be too obvious to ignore and if nothing is done, timely and correctly, strange behavious will begin to manifest and if they go unchecked for a long time, family peace will be threatened. But getting knowledge in itself is not enough, knowing what is right is good, but doing what is right is better.

Doing what is right requires patience, endurance, making personal changes and plenty understading. This is where prayer comes in, prayer changes things, sutuations and persons. Prayer is the only way to invite God into the affairs of men. Prayer help turn knowledge into the good life you desire. There can be no true peace where prayer is kept in the dustbin. The peace of your spouse is your peace, so pray for his/her peace. We suffer much because we failed or wait too long to see things deteroriating before we start to commit everything about our spouses to God in prayer.

Having the understanding that the physical, emotional and spiritual well-being of your spouse will bring you your desired peace and happiness, then the need to make him/her your regular prayer point to God can never be overemphasized. If praying for your spouse will buy peace for you and your family, then nothing should stop you from doing it. “Oh I have been doing it but no result” – may be because your approach has been wrong (James 4:3) or you are too much in a hurry to see changes or the changes you want is not coming the exact way you want them to, since God’s way is not our way and so you get discouraged.

Or you have not said the exact words God wants to hear, your prayers may be void of inspired utterances, but I know one thing that is sure, and that is the fact that the more you are committed to making your spouse peace and well-being the subject of prayer, the more God shapens your words, the more you think and reason like God will want you to and the better your words and utterances in prayers. And the more you say the right words, at the right timing and for the right purpose that fit into God’s will for you and for your family, the greater the chance of seeing your desired changes and the results of prayers in your spouse life and in your family.

Praying for your spouse is your God given assignment, whether he or she deserve it or not. And more importantly, therein lies your peace. A spouse you can’t pray for, you don’t deserve. When should I start holding up high the light of prayers for my spouse? The time is now! No more time to waste, the earlier peace and godliness is found in his/her life, the better your peace and the peace of the children and the better you serve God, our God, together as a family.

Olumofin Kehinde Benjamin writes for Praying Parents Prayer Group Christian Ministry (3pG).