HOW TO PARENT THE DIFFICULT CHILD

I feel sorry for our first parents: Adam & Eve because they had no predecessors, no example to follow both in parenting and other issues of life.

Have you ever considered the character difference between Cain and Abel despite being born of the same parents? Obviously Cain’s nonchalant attitude stemmed from being spoilt Genesis 4:1, the euphoria of being parents may have played a part in this. Though Adam and Eve did not do a very good job of parenting Cain, they improved on Abel. Why did Cain now remain the same? They must have given up on him and consoled themselves in their well behaved younger son; Abel.

Parenting a child that seems to break every rule possible can be emotionally draining and challenging. If one is not careful, it can lead to a parent giving up on that child while channelling his/her might in ensuring the others turn out better. But what about the recalcitrant one? God is as interested in one as He is in the other Genesis 4:6.

Let us take note of the following as we make up our mind to parent that child that seems to be difficult.

1. Accept your wrongs and ask God for forgiveness where you have not done enough. There is always some level of culpability of parents in all forms of disobedience in children but don’t slide into unnecessary self blame. That’s not the goal here.
2. Dont give up on the ability of God to change that child. Luke 1:37.
3. Dont give up on the possibility of the child changing for the better.
4. Become friends with that child against all odds but don’t neglect others also, rather encourage everyone in the house to reach out to him/her in the spirit of brotherly love.
5. Celebrate every positive effort of the child at changing no matter how small. Sometimes the difficult child too want to give his/her best but the lack of trust and “we don’t expect anything good from you” kind of response of loved ones often push them back into their shell.
6. Be a determined friend to that child. There will be time you will be push beyond limit and things will appear hopelessly lost, but your resolve to see the best of your child can make a big difference in the final count.
7. Enter into a covenant with God over the child. Remind God of His promises and hold on to them.
8. Constantly and consistently stand in the gap for that child in prayers and it will end in testimony in Jesus name.
9. Keep positive thoughts and avoid negative pronouncements. Your thoughts determine what you say and what you say is what you get.
10. Let your actions be the same as your thoughts and expectations from the child.
11. Let things happen at its pace, avoid the pushy attitudes of some parents. Yours is to pray and do whatever you can to help but ultimately God is the real life Changer.
12. Be the best example and never compare him/her to any of his/her siblings or any other child for that matter.

May all our children be taught of the Lord. God bless you.

Mrs Gloria Ojikutu lives in Abeokuta, Nigeria and writes for Praying Parents Prayer Group Christian Ministry (3pG).