Friday 16th August 2019

“In all forms of waywardness in a child, there is an underlying parental failure”

How true is this statement?

• Group Admin, 3pG

Admin Response:

It is my strong belief that parents are not altogether guiltless when it comes to children disobedience and waywardness. There must be something we didn’t do or something we failed to take note of or some sensitive signals that was ignored that led to the unfortunate circumstances that want to boomerang.

Yes, not all the causes of waywardness can be dropped at the feet of parents but parents sure have roles they play either to encourage the behaviour or some other things they failed to do.

No bad behavior happens by accident, something always lead to something. A stitch in time they say, saves nine. A child left to himself will produce fruit convenient for himself. This does not say parents should be corporal and unnecessarily legal in their approach but it did say no strange behavior should be excused and overlooked, especially when it is in its formative stage.

Absalom was not only handsome, he was “beautiful” and the delight of women, his father David pampered him more than necessary and by the time the fruit of carefree parenting rose to the surface, not even his throne was spared. If not for God’s intervention, and for the covenant sake, David’s life would have paid dearly for his special treatment for Absalom.

The young man died prematurely, though David did all he could to spare the life of a beloved son but Absalom’s spoilt attitude already secured for him too many enemies far more stronger than himself. Absalom’s behavior was bad but David’s parenting style was also to be questioned in the matter of Absalom.

When the stall is empty, the crib will be clean (Proverbs 14:4). In every form of waywardness in a child, there is an underlying parental approval long before the fruit of disobedience becomes obvious for all to see.

The way forward:

• Where there are disobedience, parents must sincerely ask themselves “where did I go wrong?” “Were there signs that was ignored?” “Was there something we did or that we didn’t do?” etc.

Finding sincere answers to questions like these may be the beginning of healing.

• Then where there were deficiencies, ask God for forgiveness and help.
• Thereafter, take the situation to God in prayer and ask God for directions and way out that will be both beneficial to the child or children in question and the parents too.
• Learn from the experience and move forward.
• Where necessary, go for counselling. Never underestimate the power of godly advice and experience of mature Christian men and women God has graciously put around you.

If we do our part, God too will do His, and for sure our children too will make us proud for it.

• Group Admin, 3pG.