HOW I DO I KNOW GOD’S WILL IN MARRIAGE OR HOW DO I KNOW I’M GOD’S WILL FOR MARRIAGE? AND HOW DO I HEAR GOD SPEAK OR HOW DO I KNOW WHEN GOD IS LEADING ME?

We have answered these questions in many ways but due to constrain of time and space I will fused all these questions into one and answer them as the Lord will help us. The Bible is our best guide in knowing the Will of God and the manner with which He speaks to His children.

Please know that no will of God will be against the Word of God and God will never lead or speak to anyone contrary to His Word. Jesus Christ is God’s answer to all human questions, no answer or solution can be found outside of Him. In Him we move and have our being. He is the voice of God and The Word of God. When He’s in your boat, you can never be drifted off course, so let’s trust Him for guide and grace.

“God, who at sundry times and in divers manners spake in time past unto the fathers by the prophets,  Hath in these last days spoken unto us by his Son, whom he hath appointed heir of all things, by whom also he made the worlds”  Heb. 1:1-2

God has been speaking to men and women who trusted Him for guidance from ages using divers’ means and methods. He’s God he can use anything and everything to speak, the earth is the Lord and the fullness thereof. He chooses whatever and whoever He will to express His mind. He spoke to the fathers by the prophets and TODAY He speak to us through His Son Jesus Christ using whatever means He so wish in conformity to His Word.

If it is God, the Bible will confirm it, the Word of God will support it. Once it has no foundation in the Word, it simply mean God is not there, no matter how convincing it may sound.

“To the law and to the testimony: if they speak not according to this word, it is because there is no light in them” – Isa. 8:20.  In him was life; and the life was the light of men” – John 1:4

Among the many ways God speak, we will dwell on the following key areas for the purpose of this discussion. Whichever way God speak to you, at least one or more of the following will play a part:

1. Dream and Vision

2. Revelations through the Word

3. Witness of the Holy Spirit and Inner peace

4. Witnesses of men and women, situations and circumstances.

1. DREAM AND VISION

“And it shall come to pass afterward, that I will pour out my spirit upon all flesh; and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions” – Joel 2:28″

We are starting with this because it is the most compromised of the four stated above. Many people have entered into terrible relationships just because they dreamed, and so are many who have been led into wonderful and God centered marriages just because they were guided by dreams. Without missing word, God still speak to His people today via the agency of dreams.

Dreams comes from divers’ ways.

• Through day to day business and activities – Eccl. 5:3

• Much thinking and wishing can lead to dream. If you think too much about something or wish for it you can dream about it.

• It can come from the devil to cause confusion.

• Through the dictate and desire of your flesh. If you go to bed hungry, you can dream seeing yourself eating your favorite food – Isa. 29:8

• Through what you see, hear and feel. If you watch horror films late into the night, you can dream seeing demons pursuing you.

• Through direct inspiration from God. The more you meditate on God and His Word, the more likely you will be inspired by His Spirit and the more revelations He reveal to you in dreams. Dan. 2:28

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Now the question is how do you know the difference? That’s the discussion for today.

How do I know the source or sources of my dream? Or simply put, how do I know when God speaks or leads me through dream?

If you are a parent of a 4 years old who’s is just in Nursery 1 and you are invited to a discussion on the “Difficult Task of Parenting” with another parent of 4 children, all of them PhD holders and married. Who do you think will talk better on the subject matter? I think the parent with 4 grown up children. Why you may ask? The answer is experience. One has better experience on the job of parenting than the other.

Same is hearing God speak and following His lead. Experience is your best guide. See what the Bible says Hebrews 5:14. But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.

What does it mean “…who by reason of use (by reason of experience due to several use) have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil”. This simply mean God is interested in all areas of our lives. He want to lead us and have preeminence in all things in our lives. God cannot and will not start speaking to you on the issue of who to marry if He has not been speaking to you on other issues before that time. Even if He speak, you are likely going to confuse His voice with another just because you have no experience hearing Him before. You have not by reason of use master His voice.

He called Samuel four times, three of which he ran to Eli thinking it was Eli that called. He was confused until when guided (1Sam. 3:4-10). God is not an emergency number you dial only when you are in a corner. If He has not been speaking to you before, He won’t start now just because you want to marry. This is particularly true when it comes to dream.

If God has never led you before through dreams, you can’t remember any consistent dreams you’ve had in the past and came to pass as shown, then don’t depend on dreams in choosing life partner. God will not confused you in dreams with images of men and women for marriage if that was not His mode of revealing issues to you before.

Joseph had the gift of dreams and there were instances and revelations dating to His days as a young boy of his father Jacob. Since the day you gave your life to Jesus, if God has not been leading you through dreams, He won’t start now just because you want to marry.

That aside, if God has been speaking to you and leading you through dreams in the past, then you must take note of His pattern and style in communicating with you in dreams. There are millions of ways and pattern God speak to His children in dreams, they are like finger prints, no two persons own is similar to each other. You must find out by experience and by reason of use through several examples the ways He communicate to you and with you through dreams so you can discern between good and evil, between dreams from God and other sources. That’s how to know the dream that come from God. Not all your dreams come from God even if God has been speaking to you in dreams before, but by experience you will know the difference, if you have taken time to study the pattern He used for you.

1 Corinthians 14:20 Brethren, be not children in understanding: howbeit in malice be ye children, but in understanding be men.

Be men (spiritually mature) in Christian understanding. God speak and relate with men and not with babes (spiritually immature) who can get confused so easily. This will take time and consistent relationship with God and His Holy Spirit. This is where most people missed this. They want to hear God speak but they don’t want to tarry in His presence in studying and knowing His will through the Bible and prayers. They don’t want to have a deep relationship with Him. No Bible reading, no prayers, there will be no knowing of God’s will as well. Simple.

All of us knows our fathers voices without seeing him, may be you are outside the house and he called from within the house, you will say: oh!  That’s my dad calling. When your mother called, you can differentiate her voice from many female voices around you even if you don’t see her face to face. How was that possible? You have come to discern their voices and their unique ways of calling you “by reason of use of your senses to discern” their voices from the many voices around you. That’s how God is too, experience in the use of your spiritual senses, and with your relationship with Him, overtime you now know His voice, his pattern and the way of relating with you in dreams. Dreams that are from God will surely have a pattern or style peculiar to you, that God uses in revealing His mind to you.

It’s just like the film industry, there are many Christian drama groups but if you are familiar with Mount Zion films or The Kendrick Brothers, you don’t have to see their names or some particular actors before you know whose film you are watching, if you happen to start watching the film midway. How’s that possible? Simply because each drama group has its own style, though inspired by the Same Holy Spirit. That’s how dreams are, if it is from God, it is inspired by the Holy Spirit but for each of us, there is a style and a pattern you must be familiar with and that way you will be able to differentiate between dreams from God and those from other sources.

Every dreams and visions from God inspired by the Holy Spirit must align with the Word of God. Any dreams or vision that’s contrary to any part of the scripture should be discarded and dismissed promptly. Isaiah 8:20 “To the law and to the testimony: if they speak not according to this word, it is because there is no light in them.”

If you have not taking time to study and understand if God speak to you through dreams and understand the pattern He speak to you in dreams, please don’t start learning with the issue of choosing a life partner, that will be too high a risk. Don’t kill your own future yourself.

There is no doubt, God speak through dreams and visions and He still speak through them, you can start learning now but don’t start with issues of marriage. Get your senses equip to discern between good and evil through less important areas of life where corrections are easy and available. Mistakes and errors in marriage are not easily correctable. There are other less complicated areas you can learn His voice, start with those and marriage issues can come later but to the married, you are better placed, there are so many areas of your marital life, family life and about your children and their future that you will need to understand God and the pattern with wish He speaks to you.

Does that mean I should discard all my dreams?  No. Study them and analyze each dream with the Word of God, pray about them and discard the irrelevant once you have prayed on it. There are people who never have any good dream that come to pass, only the bad ones. If that’s you, please pray and break the negative pattern in Jesus Christ Name. If you never dream good and all your dreams are always about evil occurrence, death, calamity etc. you need to pray and break that pattern. Yes, God can warn you through dreams, He can also comfort or inspired you through dreams. Yours should not only be negative and deaths and bad dreams always. God doesn’t work like that.

Good dreams come from God too but I must also warn not all “good dreams” are from Him, don’t be deceived. By their fruit we shall know them. Dreams from God must bear the fruit of grace i.e. it must be in unity with the scriptures. God speak through dreams loud and clear but it takes humility, diligence, patiently studying the Word, committed life of prayers and steady relationship with God to understand the pattern and style He chose to use for you.

Psalms 25:14 “The secret of the LORD is with them that fear him; and he will shew them his covenant.

Proverbs 25:2 “It is the glory of God to conceal a thing: but the honour of kings is to search out a matter.

Dreams are concealed in mysteries, it is for kings and queens (spiritually mature men and women) to search out their patterns and God will be glorify.

Deuteronomy 29:29 “The secret things belong unto the LORD our God: but those things which are revealed belong unto us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law.

Note that, all revealed secrets, dreams inclusive, must conform to the Word of God.

May God bless you and equip your spiritual senses with grace and ability to discern between good and evil in Jesus Name. May you not be victim of hell inspired dreams in your journey to destiny in JESUS CHRIST NAME. AMEN

Note:

1. Dreams are images you see when asleep (Job 33:15). It can also be mental picture, or idea God gave you to nurture.
2. (i) Vision can be pictures or scenes you see when you are fully awake and conscious of your environment. (ii) Vision can also be dreams you have when asleep, especially in the night, often referred to in the Bible as vision of the night. This is the type of vision prophet Joel spoke about in Joel 2:28.

Someone asked me this question:

“I think in this days of Holy spirit God speak to  us through our mind, you don’t need to dream or see vision before you know whom to marry, what we need is to fellowship with God in the spirit always”

This is my response:

We will discuss that under “Witness of the Holy Spirit and inner peace “. All are still relevant, depending on what you want or how you want Him to speak to you.

These are the four we are considering:

• Dream and Vision

• Revelations through the Word

• Witness of the Holy Spirit and Inner peace

• Witnesses of men and women, situations and circumstances.

Your question is in third point.  Holy Spirit speak through all the 4 and more. You should not limit Him to your mind.

Human mind cannot be trusted as well. That’s why I went through the issue of compatibility in our last post. Check everything with the Word of God and prayerfully go through the compatibility tests as well.

As long as you depend on Him and you are not lazy to seek His face, He will guide you.

Olumofin Kehinde Benjamin writes for Praying Parents Prayer Group Christian Ministry (3pG)