EXPLAINING PARENTING CAPACITY USING THE CAF STANDARDS

Luke 2:40. “And the child grew and waxed strong in spirit, filled with wisdom; and the grace of God was upon him.”
Luke 2:52. “And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favour with God and man.”

God’s desire for every child is to develop all round: physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally etc. Our aim this week is to link the Common Assessment Framework (CAF) as used by health professionals to assess and develop a holistic picture of a child’s need across all aspect of life. The three domains under CAF are: parenting capacity, child’s developmental needs and family and environmental factors.

This week, we will start with parenting capacity and consider how we can relate it to Christian parenting. Everyone of us grew up in a family whether with either biological parents, grandparents or any older relations or friends. It is a known fact that the quality of caring that a child receives from any of such primary care giver will have a significant impact on his/her development. To meet a child’s developmental needs therefore, the CAF identified six areas of importance which are ALL necessary to promote children’s wellbeing. These are basic care, safety, emotional warmth, appropriate stimulation, guidance and boundaries, and stability.

1. Basic care: To ensure children development and wellbeing, parents must meet the physical needs of their children such as provision of balance diet food, drink, warmth, shelter, personal hygiene, appropriate medical and dental care. Our God is an all Sufficient One, we should always seek His help for divine provision regardless of whether we are financially stable or not. Likewise, we should be vigilant so that we can respond appropriately to those who are in need of support around us. For example, if we observe that a child in Sunday school is not always adequately dressed or the child always seem to be hungry, we can support such parents, if possible discreetly through the teachers or the church welfare team.

2. Ensuring safety: Psalm 127: 1 says that “except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh in vain.” As Christian parents, we understand this principle that it is only God who can watch and keep us and our children. This is why we pray, fast, use covenant of God’s Word and seal our families with the blood of Jesus. However, we also have responsibility to ensure that our children are adequately protected from harm or danger. This includes being watchful that we leave our children only with appropriate adults. Moreover, we must be extra vigilant in removing hazards and dangerous things like needles, razor blades, knife, used polythene bags, drugs and chemicals from home and other environment.

3. Emotional Warmth: This includes appropriate physical contact, comfort and cuddling that is sufficient to demonstrate warm regard, praise and encouragement. These give children a sense of being specially valued. In addition to these showing affection, we can also build our children’s self-esteem by spending time with them to read, memorise and meditate on scriptures. One resource that I have found very helpful is “scriptural meditations for children”, by Kemi Oyedepo. An e-book shared recently on 3pG. For example, scriptures such as: I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me – Phil 4:13, Psalm 56:3 – when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you and many more. Meditating on these scriptures will help children, young people and even parents to build their confidence in God during difficult situations.

4. Stimulation: This includes encouraging and joining a child’s play, promoting educational opportunities, communicating, talking and responding to the child’s language. It can also include activities as free as going for a walk to enjoy God’s creative works, visiting zoos, natural game reserves, watching educative, watching documentaries such as animal planets, science innovation etc that children enjoy and are within the budget of parents.

5. Guidance and boundaries: As Christian parents, we have a duty to model appropriate behaviour in the lives of our children and young people around us. We must not only tell them to fear God and live a godly live, we must show them through our interactions and relationships. Moreover, we must set clear and consistent boundaries and be willing to continuously reinforce and remind children of rules and consequences of disobedience.

6. Stability: Psalm 133:1 Behold how good and pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! Indeed a peaceful home environment will give children a sense of stability and will enable them to develop and maintain secure attachment to the care giver. This can only be achieved when members of the family (especially parents) are committed to resolving conflict in a mature and godly manner whenever issues arises. Parents are encouraged to do all that is necessary to maintain peace and tranquility at home. This will build children confidence and give them sense of security.

…to be continued.

May the Lord meet all your need and greatly bless your parenting efforts. Amen

Olubunmi Afere (Mrs) writes for Praying Parents Prayer Group (3pG)